


clarity

by millimallow



Category: Derry Girls (TV)
Genre: DnD AU, F/F, Fantasy AU, Introspection, Lesbianism, Pining, Sorcerers, Wizards, clare-centric, derry girl plots reimagined as having happened in a fantasy world are mentioned, no caps as a stylistic choice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-05
Updated: 2019-04-05
Packaged: 2020-01-05 08:11:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18362066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/millimallow/pseuds/millimallow
Summary: clare just hopes for a little touch of magic in her life.





	clarity

in all her few years of living, clare’s come to one conclusion and one conclusion only about the nature of life- that when it gets boring, trouble comes knocking. she and her friends get banned from the tavern- they’re caught sneaking into the brewery and immediately banned from there as well. a handsome member of the clericry drops by and she’s looped into some absurd story concerning a resurrecting dog and the weeping statue. her second portion of this thesis, yet unconfirmed, is that things very often get boring where she is, amplifying the daily chance of getting into trouble.

it doesn’t help that she doesn’t really know what to do. it occurs to her at the worst times- when michelle takes the bulletin board from the tavern (the particular offense which got them banned), her panic subsides frighteningly quickly into a feeling of ennui at the realization that michelle is good at what she does. as dubious as it is as a profession, you can often get away with these things if you’re willing to get good at it. the light in michelle’s eyes is aflame when they look through the window of a tailor’s store and onto the luxurious pleats of a display dress and clare doesn’t doubt for a minute that she’ll get good at it. possibly too good. her practice already causes a lot of collateral damage for their little group. and then, clare thinks, there’s orla. orla with her surprising competence and enthusiasm for a variety of acts and professions. her attitude and peculiarities are not always as charming to others as they are to clare, but those people haven’t seen her with a knife in her palm. broadly too good-willed to take the same path as michelle, at any opportunity orla’s mother will extol her daughter’s proficiency for identifying and tracking wildlife. orla, meanwhile, smiles in what clare guesses is agreement with these compliments.

_so, you think orla’s shaping up to be a ranger then?_

_aye. isn’t she built for it?_

the conversation between sarah and mary replays in clare’s mind beneath the tree she’s under, indulging in one of the few available moments of silence. a surprising flash of blue flits from under the grey clouds, and she smiles at the thought of better weather incoming.

 _erin wants to be a bard_ , she thinks. the kind of unconventional one that focuses more on poetry and writing than the typical singing and acrobatics. orla is more the one for the dancing. erin’s poetry is… growing, and advancing, full of endearing optimism more than thoroughbred quality. she will never skip an opportunity to read it in front of others, and clare has to admire her courage. anything in that vein would make clare lock up quickly, something she became all too aware of once she hit the age where everyone else was preening and dancing for mates or just simple matters of vanity. where her confidence lied, she was never sure enough to pursue it.

james makes her feel a little more confident. not in herself, but more that things will be okay even if she hasn’t chosen yet. for all the teasing he endures there’s something remarkable about the fact he hasn’t gotten completely discouraged. his brief flirtation with the clericry ended with a fairly dramatic bang, then a slow fizzle out, once the man of faith he admired underwent his own crisis of conscious. he hasn’t spoken about the event since, a choice which clare considers wise. nor has he spoken about any other future goals. but maybe he’s saving it, in case he goes home. clare tries to push that out of her mind.

 _maybe i’ll become a wizard_ , clare contemplates. there are a lot of other non-classed professions out there she’s interested in, like a librarian or a journalist. but if everyone else is contemplating a class, it feels out of place to not think alongside them and on their terms at least for a little bit. wizards do a lot of studying and training- it’s a tentative thought, but clare hopes that she’ll be able to make it into some kind of prestigious institution once she’s done with the academy. and if there’s any talent of hers she knows about, it’s being ever-so-enthusiastic about whatever topic of study or passing interest catches her mind at any time. this goes along with the curiousity- albeit a different sort of curiousity to the type which propels michelle to take and fiddle with everything that’s not nailed down. more a curiousity about the world and the people who live in it. tropical beaches with fantastic wildlife stretching for days on end. thick alpine forests stocked with dangerous game and whole crops of mushrooms sprouting from the fragrantly decaying floor. great cities full of sound and light with beautiful women from all over the world congregating in the taverns, taverns she isn’t banned from because of the bad decisions her friends make. meeting a girl a little older than her with brown curls and soft wandering eyes, asking to take her photo with the rudimentary camera equipment she’s picked up from a strange store with an even stranger proprietor. taking stock of these wonders in her freckled face as the device clicks into action and clare asks her to pause, which she does so willingly for the little space of time it needs to operate properly and capture her at her best.

maybe she isn’t sure what she wants, aside from wanting to meet a beautiful world-wise girl with an appetite for knowledge and travelling somewhere far away. but when clare flicks her hands in front of her and visualizes the sweet warmth of rainforest air in a bubble, such a tempting image, it can all be alright. and she thinks that the first step to figuring out the rest of her life might be, for the first time in her life, asking someone about the mysterious powers of materialization that manifest within her.

**Author's Note:**

> had to write this for my best girl/wee lesbian/character whose name sounds a lot like my birth name. i also think too much about dnd
> 
> this was born as a result
> 
> find more at scribemallow.tumblr.com and millimallow.tumblr.com!


End file.
